some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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