tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
