from now on my penis is your penis
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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