GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Randomize
