You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
