Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
