Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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