Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
