You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
