I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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