AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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