that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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