He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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