tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
