Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
