she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
