please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
