all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
