the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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