He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
