Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize