Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
