spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
