so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
