is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
