thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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