Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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