I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize