True but thats because hes a fetus.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
