if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
