I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
