she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
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