I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
