Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Alive.
So much puke
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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