Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize