sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
