he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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