Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
