I wish I could teleport
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
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