Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
