You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
even my farts smell like vagina
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
