Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
