hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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