well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
