those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize