You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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