Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize