If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
