no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
