He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
