the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
