is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
