I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Randomize
