there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
