Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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