YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
