I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
this hospital has no fireball
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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