i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
