Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I smell like Dick and happiness
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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