I puked a lego.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
