Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
