Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
