Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He felt like a one man threesome
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize