maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
