would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
