I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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