this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
