he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
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