Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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