i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize