can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
