yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
