from now on my penis is your penis
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
