What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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