3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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