I think I am morally bankrupt
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
