whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
