Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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