Define "chronic" masturbator.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
my poor anus
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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