he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
